Diamonds Aren’t Rare. Ammolite Is.
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Here’s an unpopular opinion from someone who loves gemstones: the diamond engagement ring is one of the most successful marketing campaigns in history.
Where the diamond ring tradition came from
Diamonds have been around forever, but the idea that every engagement needs one is surprisingly modern. In 1947, an advertising agency working for De Beers came up with the line “A Diamond Is Forever.” It worked so well that most people now think the diamond ring is ancient tradition.
Diamonds are beautiful and very hard. They’re just not as rare as the ads made us believe. They’re mined on several continents, and now they’re grown in labs, too.
Meanwhile, gem-quality ammolite comes from essentially one small region of Canada. If you want rare, that’s rare.
So should you get an ammolite engagement ring?
Here’s my twist: probably not for every single day.
I love ammolite more than almost any stone I work with, but it’s soft. An engagement ring gets worn through dishes, gardening, door handles and bag zippers for years. Ammolite is better as a special-occasion ring, a pendant, or a right-hand ring you take off for chores.
Rare and durable aren’t the same thing. A good jeweler should tell you that, even when it costs them a sale.
Colored stones that can handle everyday wear
If you want an engagement ring that isn’t a diamond, these are the stones I’d look at. Hardness is on the Mohs scale, where diamond is 10.
| Stone | Hardness | Every day? |
|---|---|---|
| Sapphire (blue, pink and more) | 9 | Yes. The best diamond alternative. |
| Aquamarine | 7.5–8 | Yes, with a protective setting |
| Topaz | 8 | Yes, but avoid hard knocks |
| Amethyst | 7 | Yes, with some care |
| Garnet | 6.5–7.5 | With care |
| Moonstone | 6–6.5 | With care, in a bezel |
| Labradorite | 6–6.5 | With care, in a bezel |
| Opal | 5.5–6.5 | Gently, or as a special-occasion ring |
| Ammolite | 3.5–4.5 | Special occasions only |
How to make a softer stone last
If your heart is set on something softer, the setting matters more than the stone.
- Choose a bezel setting. A band of metal around the edge protects the stone from knocks. It’s what I use on most of my rings.
- Pick a cabochon. Smooth, domed stones handle bumps better than sharp faceted edges.
- Take it off for rough jobs. Gardening, gym, cleaning. Every time.
- Plan for a second band. Some people wear a soft-stone ring for special days and a plain band for every day.
The real reason I like colored stones
A diamond engagement ring looks like a diamond engagement ring. A colored stone looks like a decision. It says you picked something because it meant something to you, not because an ad told you to.
Pink sapphire because it’s her favorite color. Aquamarine because you met at the beach. Garnet because it’s her birthstone. That’s a story. And it’s usually a lot less expensive than the diamond.
If you want a one-of-a-kind ring built around a stone you love, that’s exactly what my custom work is for. You can also browse my handmade rings.
Diamond or colored stone? I promise I won’t judge. Much.